Unbearable Suffering: My Struggle Against the Puzzling Pain of Cluster Headaches

It was a overcast Monday in the morning in the autumn of 2016. I worked as a teacher, attempting to manage a new group of students, when a intense sensation erupted behind my right eye. This was followed by rapid shocks, like lightning bolts. As each class progressed, the discomfort subsided and then came back with increased intensity. Four times that day I handed over a colleague with worksheets and hurried to the staff bathroom to soak my face with cold water. I took paracetamol, but the pain remained unbearable.

The attacks appeared repeatedly that fall, and again in the spring, soon forming an yearly cycle. The autumn months were the worst, then February and March. I could predict the pattern: aura in the shower, early twinges on the train, full-on agony in the classroom by mid-morning. In late 2019, a GP finally referred me to a neurologist and I was diagnosed with cluster headache disorder.

Cluster headaches typically start with intense discomfort behind one eye that persists up to three hours.

About one in 1,000 individuals suffer by the disorder, and men are more frequently affected. Attacks typically start with sudden, excruciating agony focused on a single eye that peaks within minutes and continues for as long as three hours. Attacks come in clusters, every day or multiple times a day, and are accompanied by tearing eyes, drooping eyelids or facial sweating. There exists an episodic type, which arrives in seasonal cycles; others have chronic cluster headaches, defined by the lack of extended symptom-free periods.

What unites sufferers is the intensity. One study scored the sensation at 9.7 out of 10, higher than bone fractures or pancreatitis. A separate found 64% of cluster headache patients experienced suicidal thoughts amid bouts; the figure dropped to 4% when they were pain-free.

Val Hobbs, in her seventies, a long-term patient from Wales, finds this understandable. Her episodes began when she was a toddler. “I would throw myself on the floor and bang my head. That was attributed to being a difficult child,” she says. Her symptoms deteriorated through childhood. Drinking in her adolescence, similar to several triggers, made things more intense. After drinking sherry at her school leaving party, she remembers hardly being able to see on the transport home.

Her relatives often mistook her attacks as drunken behavior. Support finally came from her father and then from her partner, her spouse. “I was very fortunate to find such an exceptional person,” she says. Hobbs found office work after relocating, but often hid her illness. She was fired from one job, in part due to time off during attacks. Her breakthrough identification came in 2002 at a national neurology center.

Nevertheless, the inability to organize daily activities around unpredictable attacks took its effect. She particularly disliked being unable to plan outings, being seen as flaky as a colleague, and even having to be cared for by her children during the paralysis caused by the worst episodes. “It robs you of the simple freedoms we don't appreciate until they're gone,” she says. She remembers winning tickets for a significant concert, only to have an attack inside a portable toilet.


Headaches have been described across the ages. “The earliest account of headache comes by way of the ancient civilizations in 4000BC,” write authors in a publication on the topic. They linked the ailment to an evil spirit who afflicted his victims' heads.

Historical healing texts suggest unusual treatments for what some experts would classify as a migraine. In the middle ages, severe headache was recognised as a separate condition, with treatments including herbal concoctions to other, more folk remedies.

It was a European physician who provided the initial detailed description of a cluster-type attack. In his medical observations, he describes a patient “afflicted with a very severe headache happening and vanishing daily at specific hours”.

The disorder were only officially recognised by global headache committees in the late 1980s. From the 1960s to the 1990s, they were thought to be caused by a issue with a major blood vessel which delivers blood to the brain. Prominent specialists in diagnosing the condition explain this.

In the late 1990s, researchers released the findings of a study for which they had triggered attacks in patients and monitored the episodes in a imaging machine. The data, featured in a prominent journal, showed activation of the a brain region, which is in charge for human circadian rhythm, when patients were in discomfort, and a reduction when they recovered.

In spite of such advances, identification remains slow. Jamie Charteris's symptoms began in 1986 and felt like “a modelling balloon being inflated behind my left eye”. Doctors thought he had sinus problems; he had multiple operations before eventually being diagnosed in 2014, after a physician researched his complaints.

Specialists say wait times in diagnosing and managing happen because patients are rarely seen during an episode. “You're tired and low, but not in agony,” one says. He proceeds by eliminating other primary head pain disorders, such as migraine, before confirming cluster headaches. A detailed patient history is crucial: on which part of the head do signs occur? For how much time? What season? Are there triggers, such as certain foods? Specific features such as tearing, drooping eyelids and nasal congestion help verify cluster headaches. Once diagnosed, patients may be sent to specialist centers. But many first arrive to A&E or are given inadequate treatments.

A charity trustee, in her late seventies, has experienced cluster headaches for the majority of her life, although she hasn't had an attack since recent years. When she was in her 20s, she had her teeth extracted because dentists misunderstood her symptoms. She believes dentists still need much more awareness. When a sufferer sought help from a charity, it was Chapman who responded. I remember calling a helpline during an bout in early 2021; a reassuring advisor talked me through oxygen therapy and drugs until the attack passed.

National guidance on treatment advise that sufferers are offered high-dose oxygen and/or a specific medication administered by nasal spray. No oral painkillers or opioids should be used. Preventive choices include verapamil, which reportedly soothes the bouts of well-known people.

But consultant neurologists argue the official guidelines need updating to reflect a clearer treatment pathway and help general practitioners avoid incorrect prescriptions. For episodic patients, timing is critical: “The length of the bout determines the approach.” Short cycles with infrequent attacks are managed with abortive treatment alone. More prolonged or more intense bouts require preventative medications such as certain drugs, sometimes combined with corticosteroids. Many patients also receive a nerve block injection during a bout – an procedure into the area of the skull where the discomfort is that reduces nerve signals.

The official guidance need revising to reflect a
John Sullivan
John Sullivan

Emma Velthuis is a Dutch film critic with a passion for uncovering hidden gems and analyzing cinematic trends.